Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mother's Day

This mother's day was different for me. I was concerned at how my mood would be. Depressed, lonely, irritated, angry, frustrated. I have only enjoyed mother's day to tell my own mother and Grandmother "Happy Mother's Day" . I have never enjoyed Mother's Day for me. A spotlight put on me as a mother of children with special needs. I do not enjoy motherhood. It is hard, stressful and exhausting. No words can express the love I have for my children. I am doing all I can to get the best services for them. Everyday is 2 steps forward, 2backwards, then 1 step forward. This weekend I feel God's grace covering me like a blanket. In the midst of screaming tantrums it is hard to hear God's voice or feel His presence. But what I do feel today is His Grace. His Word says "For my grace is sufficient for you".
Last night after the kids went to bed, Dennis was still working on the brakes of his car(trying to save some$). I was sitting on the couch realizing that for dinner Timmy ate 1 gluten free chicken nugget, french fries and matchstick carrots. I sat there with such peace that God is answering prayers. Six months ago he would have starved before eating it.(he started a new feeding clinic in Sept 07'). This time he had his usual tantrum, but after talking him through it and telling him "you can do it". He did eat! Even Lexi has been encouraging him saying"come on Timmy I'll eat one with you".
So, Dennis comes in last pm and says"I'm taking the car for a test drive". 20 minutes later he comes home with a Dairy Queen ice cream cake (dad would be proud).
This morning, I asked Timmy what day it is he said "Mother's day, Happy mother's day mommy". Lexi also was excited giving lots of hugs.
To my mom
" Happy Mothers Day"
I love you and miss you


John Rumbold said...

Those of us out here in the world watching you - we celebrate Mother's Day for you and all the other mothers facing the challenges of autism. Now you are carrying on the tradition of your mom and grandmother before you - facing challenges, winning most and loosing some. The Lord has chosen you for this task because the Lord knows you are up to it. Watch this news story ( and then you too will understand what you signed up for. With love, Uncle John

Angela's Kitchen said...

What I love most is that Lexi signed her last name on the card to you. That is so cute!